We live in a time period where there is a constant shadow looming over us. With social media constantly telling us what to think, say, wear and post, it’s hard to decipher who we are as individuals versus who the internet and society tells us we are.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with my individualism. I love being in touch with the latest trends – from layered necklaces to hair scarves – but in doing so I started to lose myself. I tried to fit in with the “edgy” trend, but here’s the truth. I’ll always reach for the girly, somewhat-bohemian pieces from the racks of unassuming clothing stores. I’ll never be the girl who can wear sneakers with dresses. And I would rather die than have any human see me in neon-colored bike shorts.
But we aren’t just losing ourselves on the outside – who we truly are is disappearing. God forbid we say something that might be perceived as ‘uncool’ or do something that isn’t Instagram-worthy. Shame on us if we have a characteristic, hobby or obsession that is far-fetched.
I realized I was afraid to be myself when it came to this blog. I was so worried about what people would think and say. Will they judge me? Criticize me? Hate my writing? Not read it? With every push of the Publish button, I still get a little bit anxious. But writing is how I best express myself and being a writer is such a big part of my identity.
Maybe it’s because we don’t want to or maybe it’s because we can’t, but our inner selves are so hidden that really getting to know someone, even getting to know ourselves, is rare. This period of time is holding us hostage in its shadow, dimming what makes us shine.
I’m tired of it. So, I made a list of some of the things that make me who I am:
I am a daughter, sister, girlfriend, cousin, friend, niece, aunt and student.
I am a writer, a dreamer, an introverted extrovert, a wanna-be traveler and a hard worker.
I have an obscene obsession with Diet Coke, am a pajama enthusiast, get excited over exposed brick, need attention and hate loud places.
I am me. And I am making 2019 the year of self-discovery, the year I take back my individualism, the year I break out of the shadow.
I encourage you, no matter who you are or how well you think you know yourself, to sit down, alone, and make a list. Ask yourself who you are. You might be surprised how difficult it is to figure out what makes you, you.
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